Flowering within - a journey of acceptance and consideration

4 months ago by Marcos Frangos

In my work as a counsellor at The Natural Practice, I am privileged to witness people as they evolve and grow. My approach of Constellations counselling[i] understands that there is no one simple story about who we are in the world.

Like the constellations we see on a clear winter night’s sky, we are living systems in continual flux, impacted by the gravitational pushes and pulls of those people and experiences orbiting with us.

As human beings we lay down sedimentary layers of experience: some of those layers are closer to our awareness, others are latent or even buried deep in our consciousness. And not all those layers are easy to accept, let alone integrate. Essentially that is the work of constellations counselling with my clients. To accept gradually and deeply ‘what is’ in life, even the pain, sickness, trauma, sadness….as well as the beauty. The more we can integrate these layers, the more it seems we are available to experience the whole of life.

A client with whom I worked during 2020 and we recently finished counselling, responded thus when I asked how they’d describe the experience of this approach to a friend. I loved their analogy of a flower with its many petals, and I would like to share it with you below:

“The first impression that I had about the name Constellations was that this was a kind of counselling touching on ethereal elements.  However, after my first session with Marcos things were more clear.  This type of counselling encouraged me to listen to parts of myself I had silenced, ignored, rejected or buried for a long time. It helped me accept the different parts and experiences that have shaped the person I am today. 

How did this happen in my Constellations-counselling?  In my case, it happened through talking therapy and the use of objects to represent people or areas of my life.  I held the object of my choosing in my hand, and as I was talking about the emotions, thoughts and even physical reactions that the objects evoked, I was able to understand myself better. 

With Marcos’ guidance, I was able to view things from a different perspective and became aware of unhelpful habits, but also to be kind to myself when recognising those habits. For me instead of a constellation, I relate to the picture of a daisy flower, a beautiful bright yellow centre, which represent the person I am today, and all the different petals representing the different events, characteristics, family ties and experiences that form part of me, and give beauty to the flower.”

[i] A way of working with client as a whole person, mind, the wisdom of their body, their sense of spirit - attempting to integrate the many layers of life context